


he will be loved

by ivydivine



Series: angst/psychological horror/sad endings [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Boypussy, Come Eating, Corruption, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Disturbing Themes, Dolls, Double Penetration in One Hole, Drugged Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Gangbang, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, I'm Sorry, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insanity, Kidnapping, LSD, Love, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Rape, Sad Yang Jeongin | I.N, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Stockholm Syndrome, Top Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:00:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivydivine/pseuds/ivydivine
Summary: Yang Jeongin just wants to be loved.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone
Series: angst/psychological horror/sad endings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202759
Comments: 15
Kudos: 41





	1. oh little boy, when will you learn?

**Author's Note:**

> this is disturbing word vomit that i wrote instead of updating requests

" _Please_ —"

His thighs shake, back arches from the after shocks of his orgasm, tear stricken face turning to the side.

"No more. _No more_. I—"

"You want me to stop?" The cat like man between his thighs shoves two ruthless fingers in his still dripping cunt, grinning at the way he sobs and makes an attempt to squirm away, but there are too many hands holding him down.

Maybe he makes an attempt to answer— his cries deter whatever words try to escape his lips.

"I say we give him a break, Min." The tall, long haired man pinning his left leg to the bed fakes a pout at the man still between his thighs. "He's learned his lesson, I think— he'll be a good boy for us."

Spindly, elegant hands come to cup his cheek, forcing his chin up. "You'll be a good boy, won't you?"

Jeongin hesitates, just to catch his breath, but fingers shift to make a move to his swollen folds and panic is alight in his eyes.

"Yes!" He squeaks, chest heaving and words unsteady. "I...I will. I'll be a good boy, I _swear_ I will."

"I don't know..."

The catlike man fawns thought, rolling a forefinger and thumb to flick at his clit, prompting a hitch in his breath from the oversensitivity, before he eventually sighs.

"Fine."

He pulls back from his thighs, the hands holding him down releasing their grip and giving him space to pull his legs to his chest.

"But—" Rough, merciless fingers grip his hair, forcing his head up and back so he gazes straight into glimmering black eyes.

"Disobey us again, we won't be so lenient."

Jeongin doesn't bother picking his head back up from where the man carelessly throws it. His neck protests at the strain, but he simply stuffs his face in his arms, resting atop his folded knees, and bites his lip harshly to contain the sobs begging to slip from his lips. He can feel more tears sting behind his eyes, feel his breathing begin to get unsteady— _Don'tcry_. _Don'tcry_. _Don'tcry_. You've cried enough.

"Do you want a bath?" This voice is deep, soft, would've been kind if not in the current circumstances. When Jeongin forces his head up, it belongs to a man with a heart shaped face, his hair nearly as light as his skin, eyes sappy and gentle.

Looking around, the other men have left. When had they left? Had Jeongin really been lost in his thoughts for so long?

Part of him is tempted to answer No and curl in on himself, but cum drips out of him uncomfortably, the phantom of fingers and tongues twisting and turning inside him a cackling haunt across his skin. He feels like he's on fire, and he wants to rid himself of the memories.

"Yes...please." He keeps his head down, avoiding eye contact. He seemed nice enough, but nice people didn't hang around monsters like that.

Surprisingly, he doesn't flinch at the hands that help him up, never lingering in places they shouldn't as he's guided assumably to the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat. His legs feel useless, knees knocking if he tries to walk on his own, and it should be much more humiliating than he's letting on, but he can find no shame in the depths of his being. The echo of water running in the porcelain tub rings in his ears.

"I can't leave you alone. I would, if it were up to me-"

The man frowns to himself, seeming to consider something before sighing and shutting the water off.

"I'll...be outside the door. I could get in trouble for this, but you look like you need some time alone." He smiles, a sad, tiny smile, setting a bundle of clothing onto the counter.

He leaves. Jeongin is left in bitter, mocking silence.

When he finally lowers himself into the water, his sobs echo through the tiled confinement.

\---

Jeongin hasn't been farther than the bathroom. He spends a majority of his time curled up beneath the duvet, when someone's not fucking him or touching him. He's not sure if he's allowed to leave the room; he doesn't ask.

Only four men have entered his confinement. The tall, long haired man, who seemed to read him like a book. The cat like man, who took pleasure in causing him pain. A short, but built man, who never spoke more than a word— hadn't even touched him, really. Only took part in holding him down during his "punishments".

And the man with the heart shaped face.

He always had a sad smile when he was around Jeongin. He was kind to him, patting his hair and telling him whatever happened to him wasn't his fault. It was confusing— how could such a soft, bright person be so close with those...monsters?

He sits on the edge of the bed, as if unsure of his place, pretty face gazing down before his eyes peel up.

Guilt. Infecting his iris, making his features seem so sappy and solemn.

"The first thing I wanted to say is— my name is Felix." He traces small patterns on the sheets. "You can tell the others I told you. I won't let them hurt you for it."

"And...our _leader_ is coming home today."

That turns Jeongin's veins to ice.

"He's really...big." Felix, he now knows, keeps his eyes down, as if uncomfortable.

"Bigger than..." He trails off, because he doesn't know the long haired man's name, but Felix seems to understand.

"Yeah," He whispers scarcely.

"He doesn't care for prep. You'd tear, if you took him without preparing. And I...I didn't think you'd want the...others to do it. Or you can do it yourself. I'd never touch you, without consent—"

"Please," Jeongin cuts him off.

"You do it."

He doesn't think he can stomach touching himself without feeling repulsive. His own hands feel unfamiliar on his tainted skin.

Felix sucks in a breath. Slowly shifts onto the bed, crawling towards Jeongin until he's just hardly between his thighs, timid with his movements and careful with his hands. They cautiously loop under the waistband of the pretty panties he'd been dressed and look up for permission to tug them down.

He recieves it. A small nod, so foreign to Jeongin, already familiar with being used regardless of his consent, and it sends tingles down his spine when Felix slips the garment off. 

"You're...really pretty." Jeongin knows he is. Knows the tiny pink cavern between his thighs is adorable and plush, because the long haired man always told him so, because his appa used to tell him so. ( _You've got such a cute little cunt, kitten. So pink and pretty._ ) It feels different coming from Felix, less repulsive and more loving. Gentle, kind Felix, who averts his eyes in assumable respect with a hearty blush heating his freckles and places a shy hand on Jeongin's shoulder.

"I'll stop if you want me to. Okay?"

God. Jeongin would never ask him to stop. His touch is so loving, caring, handling him like he's a human being worthy of adoration and praise instead of the fuck toy he'd been turned into.

"O...kay."

Felix's lips are plump. Plush, so round and pink, perfectly kissable, everything sweet glazing the soft flesh. Jeongin hesitates when he leans forward, already close enough to feel his breath. Is he allowed-?

"Can I use my fingers? Or-" He nearly, just barely, closes the gap, murmuring the words against his lips. Jeongin shouldn't feel like this. So warm, so nice, so loved.

" _Felix_." The name weighs down his tongue.

"Fuck me. _Please_."

He wanted this, he tells himself he does because it's true— he wants Felix, wants Felix and his cute pink cock to fuck him until he forgets he's just a sappy eyed fuck doll. He could get lost in the tangible warmth of his eyes as he slips inside his throbbing, weeping hole, connecting their lips at last.

Jeongin reaches his peak on the third thrust. Pathetic. He'd came just from the feeling of being loved, loved by _Felix_ , God, how much weaker could he get? 

He sobs. Sobs into his shoulder, wraps his legs round his hips to bring him closer, make him go deeper, let him carve out the impurities the others had left inside him. Cries into the crook of his neck, _FelixFelixFelix_ , because who had ever loved him like this? Fucked him like this, so gentle, so firm, seeing more in him than doe eyes and a pretty pink cunt? 

Is he losing his mind?

Maybe he is.

He's clinging onto one of his kidnappers while he fucks him into the clouds, sobbing his name and biting his skin, relishing in the soft tickle of his hair on his cheek.

Felix gasps when he cums. A miniscule sound, hardly reaching Jeongin's cloudy brain as he grips he boy's frail shoulders to keep himself steady. He's so pretty, disheveled and swollen lipped, his eyes wild but still so _loving_.

Jeongin decided that he liked being loved.

Loved by Felix.

\---

Jeongin doesn't meet their supposed leader until what feels like 3 days after he'd fucked Felix. He doesn't regret it; he'd do it again, if he could, but the man refused to look him in the eye, let alone touch him for longer than a micro second. It was both cute and frustrating, though he didn't blame him— he probably felt filthy after fucking a whore like him.

He'd stopped caring about his dignity what, a few weeks ago? How long had he been here? He's a pliant little fuck doll, letting them dress him in lacey garments and press a thin yellow tab on his tongue, shove their cocks down his throat until he was aching and raw. Hell, he could still taste cum on his teetj as he was led down the stairs for the first time since his abduction.

Too many hands hold his arms for him to make a run for it. He wouldn't, even if there wasn't anyone holding him back. He'd accepted his fate long ago.

The air is cold, but the man in the chair is colder. His eyes are darker than the cat like man's, his shirt unbuttoned halfway and his hair a sultry blonde, falling over his forehead.

Beautiful.

Such a beautiful face hiding the _monster_ cackling inside his chest.

"Hm." He seems to look Jeongin up and down, though his eyes never break from his face. "You didn't lie when you said he was pretty."

There are too many people. Too many _men._ He counts one by the arm chair, the one with round cheeks and wild eyes, wrapped giddily in the cat like man's arms. He sees the silent, built man who he'd rode until his knees gave in to exhaustion.

And he sees Felix. Behind the arm chair, leaning against the door frame, eyes strictly on the floor.

"Tell me— which one fucked you first?"

It takes him a minute to comprehend the man is directly addressing him. The room is starting to spin. Felix is glowing. Sparkles rim his lashes when he looks up, hair an ethereal white, and Jeongin blinks several times.

The man in the arm chair has no eyes. He's still beautiful.

"The...cat?" It's phrased more as a question; he's unsure who he's looking at. The cat like man has slits in his eyes, fangs in his gums when he grins, two ears twisting and turning atop his head.

"Minho?"

He's going to assume who that is. He can't answer as he's shoved onto the man's lap, looking him in the face. His eyes are back, rolling in their sockets, rainbow patterns flickering across his face like TV static. He can't register anything being said to him. He hears a laugh, feels a hand tearing at the lace he'd been strapped into, feels fingers edging onto his tongue where the tab has long since been swallowed, and they cup the drool from his gums.

"Look at you," he coos, lips raw red and stretching into a grin. At least he thinks they do. His face dissolved into an eery canvas of white.

"So pretty. Such a cute little slut, all _drugged up_ and ready to take my cock."

Oh.

He'd been drugged?

He thinks back the smiley tab, slipping down his throat as a weeping cock was throbbing on his tongue.

That would (maybe) explain why his face was rearranging. He has no lips, no nose, only those dark, glimmering eyes. His voice is muffled. Is he underwater? Jeongin squints, as if that would help him hear better.

_You're a cockslut._

_Cockslutcockslutcockslut._

_Nothing but a filthy little cockslut._

_How have you never experienced this before?_

_Getting used like the little whore you are, two cocks stretching your slutty little hole. You like it. You like it? Don't you?_

**_You_ _love it._**

Someone nudges into his mouth. Everyone speaks in surround sound. So many voices, telling him he's so pretty taking their cocks, so cute getting stretched and filled and used, over and over.

_That's all you're good for._

_Taking cock, eating cum._

That's all he's good for.

Right?

 _Slutslutslutslutslutslutslut_.

Two cocks fill his mouth, stretching his cheeks, weeping against eachother as another load shoots down his throat. Cum is seeping from every crevice of his body; he feels like it's coming out of his nostrils. It probably is. 

No one has a face anymore.

Except...Felix.

How does he get to be so pretty? Standing there with his glowing skin and pale hair. Jeongin wants to be pretty.

_You are pretty._

_Only when you're stuffed full of cock like the little slut you are._

Oh, right.

Cocksluts are only pretty in their element.

He doesn't remember falling asleep.

He only remembers Felix. 

\---

Jeongin awakens.

He cries.

Everything aches. His thighs, his jaw, his joints. 

He wants to be loved.

Loved...

_A fuck doll isn't worthy of love._

Jeongin wants to be loved.

_Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove._

There is no one around to love him. He doesn't want bruising hands and degrading words, he wants soft thrusts and gentle kisses, white hair tickling his cheek—

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

He wants Felix. Felix would love him. Felix was so kind, kind enough to love and adore someone like him.

A small cry leaves his lips when sloppy finger slip carelessly into his sore hole. He's reminded of his appa, his gnarly fingers and his too long nails, telling him he loved him with every bruising thrust. His appa didn't love him. No one could ever love him. No one but Felix. _FelixFelixFelix_. His umma didn't love him, his appa didn't love him, Minho didn't love him— Felix did.

Didn't he?

His fingers retract. His cheeks are wet. He curls up, cunt throbbing with need but ignored as he sobs into the sheets.

He just wants to be loved.

\---

Jeongin whispers to Chan, tired and fucked out, that he wants to be loved.

Tells him how his umma didn't love him. How his appa seized him too close, but held him so far. How he loves _Felix_ , how he wants _Felix_ to love him—

Chan brushes his hair behind his ear.

I love you, Innie. Do you want me to love you?"

He nods. Chan is gentle. Treats him like he's fragile, light touches and feathery kisses, the deft of his girth filling him and stretching him out. He tells Jeongin that he loves him. 

It's not the same. Felix would do it better. It wouldn't feel so...so _faux_ —

He feels guilty for thinking that. Chan loves him, he should be grateful. Such a gorgeous monster loves him. Loves him enough to fuck him and call him pretty, run his hands through his hair and tell him he's a cute little doll.

Chan loves him.

 _Chan loves you_.

Felix loves him.

_**Felix loves you**._

There is a lie somewhere between the lines, but Jeongin is too far gone to sniff it out.

\---

Felix won't speak to him.

Jeongin wakes up and sobs into his pillow.

\---

Felix finally speaks to him. Jeongin doesn't want sex— he wants love.

"I..."

He dares to touch his cheek.

"I love you, Felix."

He kisses him, soft and sweet and slow. 

Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove.

Felix loves him.

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

Felix loves him.

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

Felix loves him back.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, hands soft and eyes teary.

_"You don't deserve this."_

What?

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

"You deserve better."

Jeongin doesn't care. All he wants is _FelixFelixFelix_. Felix to love him, Felix to hold him, Felix to _love_ him.

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

"Do you love me, Felix?"

"I shouldn't." His hand slips from his cheek.

"I'll...I'll get you out of here. We'll go somewhere, somewhere far, far away, where no one would ever find us."

"Do you want that, Jeongin?"

He just wants to be loved.

" _Yes_."

I want _you_.

"We'll be leaving soon." His big eyes are sad, smile bittersweet. "You'll never have to worry, when we do. Never again."

Felix loves him back. He is loved.

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

He is _loved_.

 _Afuckdollisn'tworthyoflove_.

\---

The day comes for them to leave.

Felix lays beside him in bed. Quiet, hair glimmering an ethereal white, eyes sad and smile small. The moonlight makes him look godly.

"I love you, Jeongin."

Silence.

"I love you, too, Felix."

He lays back. Holds his hand, gazes up at the ceiling.

Felix shifts. Metal glints in his hand, and blood spills from Jeongin's wrist. He can see the insides of his arms. It doesn't disturb him like it should.

"Go to sleep, _Innie_."

Red. Weeping from Felix's ivory skin, his soft, sad smile an echo in the darkness.

_"I'll see you soon."_

Jeongin closes his eyes. His head feels light. A tug grasps in his chest, the small bit of sanity he has left spiralling into a panick, but Felix is there to comfort him.

Felix is cold.

Felix loved him.

Felix _loves_ him.

He sleeps peacefully, that night. A sleep so deep he'd _never awaken_.

He is loved.


	2. END.

' **HE WILL BE LOVED** ' is a psychological horror one shot centering Yang Jeongin as a kidnapping victim and his spiral into insanity. During his time abducted, he is subjected to emotional, psychical, and sexual abuse by his abductors, except for one, by the alleged name of Felix.

In the story, Felix is never mentioned nor acknowledged by his supposed 'companions', because Felix is _in fact_ , not real. Felix is a figment of Jeongin's imagination, created to cope with the trauma and abuse he endured from not only his abductors, but also his father. Jeongin suffers from mental instability and a lack of genuine love or care, being told his whole life that he was nothing more than his assets.

The story ends with Jeongin slitting his own wrists, resulting in his ultimate death. He is still under the illusion that Felix 'loves' him, despite the fact that Felix is not real. In metaphorical terms, his suicide represents the last bit of his sanity being unable to handle what he'd gone through. The line _Felix is cold_ implies Felix has faded away, along with Jeongin's life.

**Author's Note:**

> read: a traumatized boy quickly spirals into insanity. all he craves is love.


End file.
